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Monday, 26 October 2009

US - Japan Boat Race

An American automobile company and a Japanese auto company decided to have a competitive boat race on the Detroit River. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day, they were as ready as they could be. The Japanese team won by a mile.

Afterwards, the American team became discouraged by the loss and their morale sagged. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found. A Continuous Measurable Improvement Team of "Executives" was set up to investigate the problem and to recommend appropriate corrective action. Their conclusion: The problem was that the Japanese team had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, whereas the American team had 1 person rowing and 8 people steering.

The American Corporate Steering Committee immediately hired a consulting firm to do a study on the management structure. After some time and billions of dollars, the consulting firm concluded that "too many people were steering and not enough rowing." To prevent losing to the Japanese again next year, the management structure was changed to "4 Steering Managers, 3 Area Steering Managers, and 1 Staff Steering Manager" and a new performance system for the person rowing the boat to give more incentive to work harder and become a six sigma performer. "We must give him empowerment and enrichment." That ought to do it.

The next year the Japanese team won by two miles. The American Corporation laid off the rower for poor performance, sold all of the paddles, canceled all capital investments for new equipment, halted development of a new canoe, awarded high performance awards to the consulting firm, and distributed the money saved as bonuses to the senior executives.

25 Reasons Why Alcohol Should be Served at Work



1. It's an incentive to show up.

2. It reduces stress.

3. It leads to more honest communications.

4. It reduces complaints about low pay.

5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover.

6. Employees tell management what they think, not what managers want to hear.

7. It helps save on heating costs in the winter.

8. It encourages carpooling.

9. Increase job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't care.

10. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.

11. It makes fellow employees look better.

12. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.

13. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.

14. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.

15. Suddenly, burping during a meeting isn't so embarrassing.

16. Employees work later since there's no longer a need to relax at the bar.

17. It makes everyone more open with their ideas.

18. Everyone agrees they work better after they've had a couple of drinks.

19. Eliminates the need for employees to get drunk on their lunch break.

20. Increases the chance of seeing your boss naked.-SCARY!!!!

21. It promotes foreign relations with the former Soviet Union.

22. The janitor's closet will finally have a use.

23. Employees no longer need coffee to sober up.

24. Sitting on the copy machine will no longer be seen as "gross."

25. Babbling and mumbling incoherently will be common.

Saturday, 24 October 2009

Banned Sexy TV Adv

This one is very sexy... :)


Monday, 19 October 2009

Qrazy Actual Newspaper Headlines

Here are the examples of rumbling and crazy actual newspaper headlines. Sorry I have no picture for these, just enjoy!

1. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

2. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

3. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

4. Miners Refuse to Work after Death

5. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

6. War Dims Hope for Peace

7. If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile

8. Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

9. Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide.

10. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

11. Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

12. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

13. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

14. Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

15. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Sunday, 18 October 2009

Bush Shoe Attack Parody (Russia)

Funny and hillarious version of bush shoe attack! Anybody could translate it in English?



The Bush Shoe Attack Version of Kaspersky - These bloopers are hilarious
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